what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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