I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
