I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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