hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
