Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
