i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
My dick has a subreddit
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
