I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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