Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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