It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
