I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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