He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
