i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
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