oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Randomize
