he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
