ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I think i peed on brittanys purse
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I just found puke in my bra..
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Success! We fucked roommates!
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
