She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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