I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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