I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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