found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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