So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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