You smell like stripper and shame
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
