just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
