soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
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he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
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Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
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