i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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