i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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