just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
