I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize