i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
