well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
