Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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