I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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