trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
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