He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
