I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
