Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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