I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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