my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
