i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
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