the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
