gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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