I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
