I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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