those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
