You're completely useless in the revolution.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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