Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize