so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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