We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
