I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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