and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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