I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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