its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
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