He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize