bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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