I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
