i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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