Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
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