mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
