plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
