Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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