I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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