I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
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