better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
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I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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